Get all 14 Dirty Bourbon River Show releases available on Bandcamp and save 60%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of 12, Stuck in the Desert with You, The Mental Health Mixtape, Uranus, The Flying Musical Circus, Important Things Humans Should Know, Accordion Anthology, Volume Four, and 6 more.
1. |
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I’m an alien
I’ve seen a lot of crazy things
Like a big orangutan
Who rides around in a fancy sports car
Man, that scene was really crazy
(Man, that scene was really crazy)
I’m the Ooompa Soca Man
Pinball baby in my hand
Train orangutan like man
To ride around in a fancy sports car
You’ve got to live a little crazy
(You’ve got to live a little crazy)
I’m the one who stands outside
And barks about what you can find
If you enter through the door
And leave the keys to your fancy sports car
With my orangutan valet
(Why does he never hire giraffes?)
Penguins and some elephants
Don’t you tell him that he can’t
He is getting two of each and every animal
And building a boat
I think he’s gone a little crazy
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2. |
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You talk of étouffée
And les bons temps rouler
But what do you know?
About that fina ne?
I’m going to fill your ears
I’m going to fill your mouth
I’m going to spill out
And show you what it’s all about
I’ll be your pusherman
I’ll be your preacherman
I am your teacher
And I’m here to get you off
I walk around on my hands
And kiss the sky with my feet
So while you stomp on the one
I two and four on the beat
A little three / two zing
To make it sizzle and cut
I live by these three things
So baby listen up:
It goes one for the melody
Two for the groove
Melded together by booze
And then we all get off
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3. |
Dear Grandma
03:38
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Dear grandma
Happy birthday
Tommy, Carla and Georgia
All chipped in with me
To get you this toaster oven
For the new kitchen that you’re due
I hope that you find everything you want
With this new husband
Love, your grandson
Oh grandma
Sweet Nana
Things just ain’t the same
You used to hold me
When the world was quiet
Now everyone has gone insane
Dear grandma
Dream, I worry
Don’t go out by the bay
Naked hippies
Are skinny dipping in the milky way
This Chinese megastore
I don’t know
These isles they feel so random
Do not come here
Love, your grandson
And now I know that
We’ve all got to make a change
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4. |
Ode to Sophia Loren
04:10
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Oh Sophie Loren where were you born?
I bin a choretto here in the morning
Dune ye bon bon down to the floor
Na boom na boom na boom na na na na
Oh Sophie Loren where are you?
Aprillio bito ba ti cajues
Dune ye bon bon back door amor
Na boom na boom na boom na na na na
Oh Sophie Loren where’ve you been?
I built you a house with everything
That you love sans zulé down to the floor
Na boom na boom na boom na na na na
Oh Sophie Loren where are you?
Aprillio bito ba ti cajues
Dune ye bon bon back door amor
Na boom na boom na boom na na na na
Oh Sophie
I’ve lost my sight of you
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
We are gathered here today
In the congregation of rhythm
To celebrate bringing back to the good people of Earth
A little something we like to call…
The Unholy Sound!
It comes down through the ceiling
Into your fingertips, into your eyeballs
Giving you feeling, giving you love
Somebody get this man a tissue
Because he needs to blow his soul out
Oh Sophie Loren don’t you go
I wish there was something more
Dune ye bon bon down to the floor
Na boom na boom na boom na na na na
Oh Sophie Loren won’t you stay?
I wish there was something I could say
Dune ye bon bon back door amor
Na boom na boom na boom na na na na
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5. |
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Time ain’t waiting for no one
But a rabbit with a clock
When you find that walking
Isn’t really working out for you
Catch a ride on a petal upstream
Three-legged dogs chasing babies
In a river full of marmalade
This clown is drunk and I am falling
Catch a ride on a petal back upstream
Time ain’t waiting for no one
But a back stream black cat in a funny coat
Smoke pouring from the mouth of the ringleader
Everybody sing it now
And we’re going to the circus with a freaky crowd
Crawling, running, flying, flipping
I’m getting high
I’m getting low
Going every which way that I can go
And now I’m floating
I’m floating!
Falling from a trapeze
Into a pair of Siamese twins
From a land far, far away
Who look you in the eye and tell you: “You must stay”
But something is wrong and I don’t know what it is
Close my eyes and fall down again
And when you’re feeling kind of low
Go to the Dirty Bourbon River Show
And we will play for you a song or two
And it goes a little something like this:
I don’t know what you’ve been told
But this ain’t no ragtime disco show
I’m singing: “Hi De Hi De Hi De Ho”
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6. |
I Need Your Love
04:26
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With these hands I did hold an angel
She was sweet and so was I
But it was not our time
Way down in a place called New Orleans
Whereupon love
The sun, it rarely shines
The way that you draw on your lips
Like you want to be kissed
I need your love here tonight
I was wrong, I did miss
What you wanted beneath the bliss
And you slipped away from my love
How I tried to make you understand
That maybe you will never find another man
Like me, nor would I
Find another like you in my life
I need your love here tonight
The way that you pull from inside
And that look in your eyes
I need your love here tonight
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7. |
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I don’t spit, and I don’t chew
And I don’t go with girls who do
When I drink and when I smoke
I stay away from a greasy coat
I used to brag and kiss and tell
Until the day I lost my belle
And in the whiskey I did drown
While you packed up and left this town
Sweety pie, my oh my
What it is is far from what it was
I bided time but now I’ve realized
That you ain’t gonna be the one I love
Pretty girls, they come and go
I used to chase them but now I know
You’ve got money and you’ve got looks
But honey, you should read a book
In a bar you won’t meet
The one who makes your life complete
So pretty mama don’t you waste your time
Because I ain’t the one you’re looking for
Honey, baby, sugar, lady
You ain’t gonna be the one I love
So what the hell?
You and me might as well have some fun
I don’t cheat and I don’t lie
But I haven’t lived a perfect life
I swam with the fishes in the bottom of hell
Until I came back up knowing oh so well…
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8. |
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Jewish girls who went to art school know all the angles
And Jewish girls who went to art school also like anal
She showed me some crazy Japanese fish
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9. |
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Say what you will about my moustache
Say what you will about my beard
But I have a friend from ear to ear
I have a friend in here
“Do not speak to the moleman”
Said those fat cat royal clowns
But I am no friend of the crown
I am a friend of the underground
Lies! Lies! Lies!
Say what you like
I am wet, you are dry
So don’t you put your mittens in my pie
Say what you will about her lipstick
Say what you will about her breasts
But there is a heart deep in her chest
Something that you would never guess
The heart is sounding
For big fat pounding
I want to take you for a ride up in the sky
The thought is frightening
To make love like lightening
And kiss our lonely earthen silhouettes goodbye
But we must do it
We all must do it!
On the dance floor right here right now
So feel my pounding
My big fat pounding
As I fill you with my Dirty Bourbon Sound
Say what you will about my moustache
Say what you will about my beard
But he is the reason that I can fly
And they are the reason that I’m still here
Since the dawn of time
The moustache has always found its way onto the face of man
And now man is faced with a problem
A big problem
For the The Man
He’s trying to take away the moustache from the other man
He said: “Put on this collared shirt and shave off your moustache”
Of which I say: “I will have none of it!”
Everybody join me now in the stomp for Mr. Mustachio
It’s Mr. Mustachio’s Stomp!
You pay your kibble
You come to the door
You put your penny in the box
And you wear your moustache
You feel it crawling up your leg
Between your toe
Up your calf
Up the side of your body
All around on your spine
It makes it tingle
It feels so great!
Everybody!
Feel the moustache!
Lies! Lies! Lies!
There all lies!
Say what you will about my moustache
Say what you will about my beard
But he is the reason that I can fly
They are the reason that I’m still here
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10. |
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It seems we’ve been here before
This time in through the back door
With a big old bottle of crushed velveteen Dutch
I’ve seen your tiny little face
I’ve seen your tiny little eyes
No matter the time, peering through the keyhole child
“What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?”
I can’t hold back anymore…
I don’t do what I’ve been told
When I was made I broke the mold
I misbehave and run amok
Because I don’t really give a fuck
They took my little friend
My big orange friend too
I had to get revenge
Frying pan’s frying while I’m flying in the sky
Spied by the beady eyes as I fly so high
I’m singing:
“What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?”
I can’t hold back anymore…
I don’t do what I’ve been told
When I was made I broke the mold
I misbehave and run amok
Because I don’t really give a fuck
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